Life in the Crazy Lane

BUSY, BUSY, BUSY!

2010-06-23T06:21:00.000-07:00

That's how it's been since we started a new year of homeschooling this month. And I'm loving (almost) every minute of it! We've settled into a nice routine.

At 8:30 a.m., I work with Cakes at her reading, writing, and math. Then, starting at 9:00, Bean and I do math and language arts (reading, writing, grammar, spelling, and story time). We break at 11:00 in the morning, when I make lunch and the girls have playtime. Lunch is at noon. Then, at 1:00, Bean does a quick math review worksheet. Then, the two girls have instructional time together. On Mondays and Wednesdays, we have science and art; on Tuesdays and Thursdays, we have history and music. School ends at around 3:00, when we unwind (and have phys. ed.) with a quick dip in the pool, followed by getting supper ready, eating, relaxing before bedtime, and then bed.

On Monday, we learned about earthworms and set up an earthworm farm to see how worms mix the soil to help plants grow better. I got an absolutely fantastic book about worms at the library that is a must-read for any kid interested in worms. It's full of fantastic information about worms, great collage-style illustrations, and big, easy text. It's called Wiggling Worms at Work, and I highly recommend it (you know it's good, because I used a lot of italics in the description)!

You know we're all "yankees," but when I read that all worms are both male and female at the same time, Bean let out a huge, Southern, "WHAT?!" that made me laugh out loud. That was one of her favorite pieces of information gleaned from this amazing book. Other useful tidbits include the benefits and uses of worm poo, the fact that worm eggs incubate for three months in cocoons (they are relatives of the butterfly, after all), and why it's bad for worms' skin to dry up.

And, Peanut just emerged from my bedroom chewing on a nipple shield, which is my cue to get off the computer and get started with my day.

IT'S OUT!

2010-05-20T09:20:00.000-07:00

Bean was rather reluctant to wiggle her tooth. She said it made her mouth feel funny. She was content to let her first loose tooth (a bottom canine tooth, which I thought was a little weird for a first loose tooth, but what are you gonna do?) wobble about on its own while she went about her daily life. But, that all changed when she had a chance to impress someone who was not related to her.

Big Daddy's business associate, Mr. Kobe, was over working on a bid with Big Daddy. Bean saw her chance to show off a little bit, and she set to work wiggling her tooth for him. Well, Mr. Kobe acted so excited that he got her worked into a near frenzy, and she finally gave that tooth a good, hard yank!

HOW TO KEEP THE PEACE

2010-05-13T13:39:00.000-07:00

If the girls are generally helpful during the day and do a clean sweep of the living room and their bedroom before bedtime, they each get a quarter. Weeks of saving resulted in a trip to Super Target yesterday to spend the change that was burning holes in their pockets.

Bean picked up a Sleeping Beauty Barbie and Cakes got an Ariel Barbie. When we got home, the cherubs shut themselves in their bedroom and played for five hours without one fight! It was heavenly! Makes me want to buy them a new Barbie every day ....

GETTIN' GIDDY ABOUT SCHOOL SUPPLIES

2010-05-12T15:25:00.000-07:00

As you know, we started homeschooling Bean this past year. We're loving (almost) every minute of it! There are, of course, the occasional days when motivation is sorely lacking on the part of my cherub. But, for the most part, she has been an enthusiastic participant in learning.

I know there are many homeschool philosophies out there: unschooling, classical, Goddard, Montessorie, etc. It's worthwhile for anyone who is serious about homeschooling to take some time evaluating each philosphy to find out which is the best fit for his/her own life view and his/her child's unique personality and learning style. Classical education turned out to be the best fit for us. It relies heavily on the written word, uses original texts rather than scholars' interpretations of those texts, and accentuates the fine arts. Using The Well-Trained Mind as a guide, we are coming to the close of our first homeschooling year.

While our particular school district requires enrollment by August 1, we choose to have school year-round. I don't like the idea of summer undoing everything I have worked so hard to teach, and I don't want to spend the first month or so of every year reviewing last years concepts. So, we start our school year in June, and Cakes will be joining Bean at the kitchen table for her studies. Since we're almost halfway through May, I'm scouring the internet for my curriculum and getting that high that comes from sniffing pencil shavings and new binders.

For those who are interested, here is a list of the curriculum I will be using this upcoming year:

For Cakes, we will be covering the basics (sort of a pre-school level education). For math, we will be using Saxon Math Homeschool for Kindergarten, complete with the K-3 manipulatives kit. Bean enjoyed it immensely, and my little Cakes is a very hands-on kind of kid.

For reading, we will be using The Ordinary Parent's Guide to Teaching Reading. It is a phonics-based approach that makes teaching reading unbelievably easy.

For handwriting, we will be using the Handwriting Without Tears book Letters and Numbers for Me. We originally tried the Zaner-Bloser curriculum, but Bean's fine motor skills were better advanced with the Handwriting Without Tears program.

Class for the first year usually only takes 45 to 90 minutes per day, and was a great way to ease Bean into her state-mandated four-hour school days.

Bean, having mastered the basics, will begin to branch out beyond just the three R's.

We will continue to work through the remainder of The Ordinary Parent's Guide to Teaching Reading, but we will supplement her reading education with The Bob Books, Dr. Suess, and any other simple children's books that I think she can work her way through with relative ease.

We will also start grammar lessons with First Language Lessons, and spelling lessons with Spelling Workout A and B.

We will move on to Saxon Math's Grade 1 homeschool kit, which builds directly on what was learned in the Kindergarten kit. Fortunately, the manipulatives kit is good through third grade, so there's no extra purchase required.

We will also start learning history and geography, beginning at the beginning with the Ancients. We will use The Story of the World Volume I with its accompanying workbook. Supplemental materials include Blackline Maps of World History, the Kingfisher History Encyclopedia, and the Usborne Internet-Linked Encyclopedia of World History.

Science will begin with the study of plants, animals, and people, and it will be very hands-on and experiment-oriented. The curriculum we will use includes Green Thumbs, the Kingfisher First Animal Encyclopedia,and the Kingfisher First Human Body Encyclopedia.

Bean will be introduced to the fine arts with a study of classical music and its composers, a study of various artists, piano lessons using John Thompson's Teaching Little Fingers to Play, and art lessons using Drawing with Children.

Both girls will continue with dance lessons and community soccer for physical education.

What do you other homeschooling parents use for your curriculum?

NOT SO ADVENTUROUS ANYMORE

2010-05-11T06:38:00.000-07:00

Back when I was dating Big Daddy, I had very few expenses and a very spoiled pooch. Malik and I had matching coats and sweatshirts (yes, I was one of those people). I used to take him to PetSmart and buy him whatever he sniffed interestedly. I also used to get him all manner of gourmet dog treats: carob-dipped rawhide lollipops, vanilla yogurt drops, doggy breath mints. And, Big Daddy used to make me laugh by sampling every pet treat I brought home.

Big Daddy was always an adventurous eater, whereas my family and I were run-of-the mill eaters. Big Daddy would try things at restaurants that I would never dream of putting in my mouth! I, on the other hand, would find one dish I liked and order the same thing every time. After we got married, I would impulse-buy little interesting tidbits for him at the grocery store (like alligator and stuff). And I was always experimenting with our gourmet cookbooks; some of the meals were disgusting, but some were really good.

I guess Big Daddy has lost some of that adventurous culinary attitude in the past few years, because he was less than impressed when I came home with these:

Those would be frog legs. And they looked like someone had cut a very little person in half at the waist. There were even little toes *shudder*! But, because he loves me, he reluctantly breaded and fried them up. Let me just tell you, I have never smelled anything quite so objectionable! And I live near cows and horses!

I, of course, refused to taste them, but Big Daddy tried them. He said they tasted like a chicken wrapped in a fish. The spectre of a frog was with him the entire time he tried to eat them. We ended up throwing them out and spraying copious amounts of Oust around the house.

And, thus ends the era of adventurous eating.

GENDER-SPECIFIC TERMS

2010-05-05T12:02:00.000-07:00

As the daughter of a retired English teacher, I am always looking for ways to expand my children's vocabulary. We have a plethora of books for ages birth to 5 years, which are available to the cherubs any time, but we also read more advanced books every night at bedtime. It's part of the classical education model. I've been surprised at how much the girls are starting to pick up from the books in terms of plot and vocabulary. We just finished reading "A Little Princess" and are working through "The Secret Garden" now.

In reading, Bean just finished a unit on vowel combinations that produce long vowel sounds, and she likes to define the words as she reads them. One of the words she learned to read recently was "male." We talked about the difference between "male" and "mail," and about the opposites "male" and "female." Apparently, Cakes was listening closely, because today she announced, "Uncle Ney is a male, and Aunt Kimmy is a email!"

MY OWN PERSONAL DON KING

2010-05-04T08:40:00.000-07:00

When I was younger, I always said I wanted to marry a guy with curly hair. When I met Big Daddy, his hair was short and straight. Little did I know that his sister, a cosmotologist, had recently straightened it. I remember seeing the roots start coming in curly and yelling, "You have naturally curly hair?!"

Needless to say, I strongly urge him not to get his hair cut short (even though he frequently comes home with drywall dust or fiberglass stuck in his 'fro), because I think his hair is so beautiful. Occasionally, he'll go all out to make my day by doing something like this ...

How awesome is that?!

THINGS I HAVE PULLED OUT OF MY BABY'S MOUTH

2010-04-29T00:09:00.000-07:00

It doesn't matter how clean you get the floor or how much you babyproof, babies will always find the one little thing you missed and put it into their mouths. Add a five-year-old and and almost-four-year-old to the mix, and it's an adventure waiting to happen. Here are some things I have pulled out of my baby's mouth:

potting soil
Hershey's kiss foil wrapper
crayon
crayon paper
Play-doh
used Barbie Band-aid
grass clippings
mud
hair
Barbie shoe
tissue
toilet paper (unused, thank you very much)
dime
Saxon homeschool math manipulatives (counting bears and pattern blocks)
Dora Christmas ornament

So, what are some things you've pulled out of your babies' mouths?

LIFE LESSONS - HIDE THE SCISSORS

2010-04-28T00:01:00.000-07:00

I must admit that I was a bit self-congratulatory every time I heard one of those nightmare stories about little girls cutting big chunks out of their hair. After all, I'd made it 5 1/2 years without so much as an attempt by my children at self-styling. I invested in Melissa & Doug safety scissors that were guaranteed not to cut hair, clothing, or skin (they don't even cut paper that well, but such is the price one must pay to save one's children's hair).

I guess what happened was really a result of several different events, a "perfect storm," if you will. First, I noticed that the cherubs' hair was getting long and, consequentially, harder to brush without tantrums. So, I off-handedly mentioned to Bean that she and Cakes were going to need haircuts.

Later that day, Bean was helping Grammy in the garden, using scissors to cut weeds while Grammy planted vegetables. As Grammy watched Bean, she was reminded of the time I cut my own hair when I was three years old. She chuckled as she shared this story with Bean.

Now, combine the last two paragraphs with a five-year-old's (non-existent) patience level, and disaster is sure to ensue. I'll blame it on the shingles, but somehow no alarm bells went off when Bean later said to me, "Mom, I'm going to go pray to Jesus," walked into her room, and shut the door.

When she came out 15 minutes later, she was missing several large chunks of hair, including a big piece from the front, and was carrying a hairball roughly four inches in diameter. Well, the deed was done, so there was no use panicking after the fact. I calmly explained to her that only grown-ups who know how to cut hair should cut hair. Then I made a quick call to Aunt Kimmy, who is a hairdresser, and had her come fix everything. Six inches of hair was removed from Bean (and Cakes, who was not about to be left out of the hair-cutting festivities), and we all assumed she had learned her lesson.

But yesterday, Grampy was complaining of a headache. Bean offered to rub his head to make him feel better. After rubbing his head for a few minutes, Bean observed, "Grampy, your hair sure is getting long." From behind her back, Bean pulled out a pair of scissors ...

I'M B-A-A-A-A-CK!

2010-04-27T12:26:00.000-07:00

It's been quite a while. We have been battling one illness after the next here in the Crazy Lane. First, we all got colds. That turned into RSV. After we recovered from that, we were hit with Strep. As the girls got better, I actually got ... are you ready for it? Shingles! Shingles?! I'm not 80, for goodness sake!

At any rate, the shingles have just about cleared up, right in time for ... PINK-EYE! Cakes, Peanut, and I have all been stricken with goopy, itchy eyes. Are you ready for my treatment? BREASTMILK!!! I learned from a friend of mine that breastmilk works wonders when it comes to ear infections and pink-eye.

As soon as Peanut woke up with her eyes fused shut, I immediately took aim and fired with my organic home remedy. However, as you can imagine, the "guns" were not designed for accuracy. The result was 15 minutes of screaming and spraying before I achieved the desired result. After that, I wised up. I now collect the homemade antibiotic in a cup, line up the children, dump it into their eyes, and have them blink to flush their eyes out. I even added Bean to the assembly line, as a pre-emptive strike.

It's working!!!! Peanut's in much better spirits and is losing that goopy, glassy-eyed look that accompanies pink-eye. Cakes' pink-eye has been contained to one eye, which is clearing up nicely. And Bean has yet to be stricken. My eyes are also clearing up nicely.

And so Mommy, the human pharmacy, carries on and is trying to catch up on the blogging.

THE MYSTERY SHINER

2010-03-19T00:01:00.000-07:00

Bean hasn't been feeling well. She's had a fever and swollen glands. Then, this morning, she woke up with a black eye.

(That would be Bean's supermodel face). At first, I thought it was just bags under her eyes from being tired and sick. Then, the bags went away and the shiner stayed.

I asked Bean what happened.

"To my eye?"

"Yes."

"I don't know. Cakes hit me in the eye with her hand."

"She did?"

"No."

"Well, what happened?"

"I was crying and I rubbed my eye and now it hurts."

"It looks more like you bumped it or got hit."

"Nope. I just rubbed it. Now it hurts."

Well, that must've been some vigorous rubbing! No further information was forthcoming, so the mystery remains.

PART OF THE PROCESS

2010-03-18T06:27:00.000-07:00

Like I've said before, I have very strong political views. But, I don't want to be partisan on this blog (believe me, I'm partisan in pretty much every other aspect of my life, right, Tanya?). But, really, you'd have to be living in a hole somewhere to not recognize the historic implications of everything that is going down in D.C. right now.

Now, I'm an enormous proponent of being well-informed. So, I wanted to take this opportunity to remind everyone to find out what's in the Senate bill. Don't take everyone else's word for it; go read it yourself! The House wants to vote on this bill as-is, word for word, by this weekend, and it is incumbent upon every American citizen to know what is in that bill and to contact their Congressman/woman in the House of Representatives to voice his/her opinion.

So, get out there and research that healthcare bill, and call your House Representative to tell them how they can best represent you! The number for the Congressional switchboard is 202-224-3121. Go get 'em!

ON THE MOVE

2010-02-26T12:07:00.000-08:00

Peanut has recovered from her RSV. That was not fun, let me tell you! Have you ever heard of deep suction? It involves tubes, nostrils, and a vacuum pump. And LOTS of mucus. And a very unhappy baby.

Anyway, Peanut has recovered, her double ear infection is clearing up, and she is on the move! She started crawling on Monday and was pulling herself up to standing by Wednesday.

Now we're really in for it!

"HEY, MOM! DO I LOOK LIKE MULAN?"

2010-02-25T08:59:00.000-08:00

KUMBAYA ...

2010-02-04T00:05:00.000-08:00

Looks like Cakes has an inner hippie trying to get out ...

WORDLESS WEDNESDAY - JUST A TYPICAL MORNING ...

2010-02-03T00:01:00.000-08:00

Visit 5 Minutes for Mom for more Wordless Wednesday!

MAMA LOVES - MOMENTS LIKE THESE ...

2010-02-01T00:01:00.000-08:00

... because moments like these are pretty rare!

For more Mama Love, visit In the Dailies!

BIG DADDY IS GIDDY!

2010-01-29T13:48:00.000-08:00

Four inches of snow, with another 4-6 inches expected? Here in the South?! Big Daddy is beside himself with glee! He has momentarily stopped pining for the Yankee winters of yesteryear.

This will shut down the state for a week! I won't be leaving the house anytime soon, either ...

WE START THEM EARLY

2010-01-28T10:07:00.000-08:00

One of the main pillars of classical education is reading. And we like to start 'em young ...

... really young.

KIDDIE QUOTES (... AND A WINNER)

2010-01-25T06:37:00.000-08:00

I'm not sure where my kids are getting their cultural information, but Bean very confidently asserts some "facts" that are questionable, at best. Take, for instance, Bean's baby doll. Today, she called me by my first name, told me she was my new neighbor, and introduced me to her doll: "This is baby Molly. We call her 'Taco.' That's French for Molly."

Meanwhile, Cakes has found a new favorite book. It's a lift-a-flap book of nursery rhymes and nursery songs. She has all the poems and songs memorized ... kind of. All morning, she's been singing "Row, Row, Row Your Boat":

Row, row, row your boat
Gently, if you can
Maily, maily, maily, maily
Like a butt of dream.

She also takes great delight in reciting "Hey, Diddle, Diddle":

Hey, diddle, diddle
The cat and the fiddle
The cow jumped over the moon
The little dog laughed
To have such fun
And the dish and the spoon ran away.

And, finally, I'm not sure how accurate Tanya was in answering my question about the ice balls; however, she was the only one who even hazarded a guess. So, the coffee-holic over at In the Dailies gets the $5 Starbucks gift card!!!

HUMOR IS IN THE EAR OF THE BEHOLDER

2010-01-21T08:07:00.000-08:00

I don't like to promote potty humor in the house, especially because I have three girls. My personal opinion is that it's kind of, I guess "uncouth" is the word I'm looking for, to hear a girl making jokes about poo and gas and stuff.

My husband, however, is not of the same mindset. He gleefully teaches our little princesses how to make fart noises and sing songs about diarrhea. The cherubs have noticed this trend, as exemplified the other day after Bean used the bathroom.

She walked out of the restroom after doing her business and declared, "Pew! It stinks in there!" Then, smiling, she added, "Daddy would appreciate that; he always appreciates a good, stinky poop!"

Lovely.

BABY LOVES CHOCOLATE!

2010-01-15T05:43:00.001-08:00

Looks like Peanut takes after her mother in her love affair with chocolate.

SOUTHERN WINTER WEATHER

2010-01-08T07:55:00.000-08:00

Tanya sent me a really funny post from Snoodlings today. Being a South-bound Northerner, I can relate to both points of view. My kids, however, are Southern through and through (minus the accent, with the exception of a few words like "five" and "toilet"). They have no concept of a Northern winter. They have joined the ranks of kids who know how to make a good-sized snowman in an inch of snow within 15 minutes of the first flake falling, knowing full well that the snow will probably be gone within three hours. They have joined the ranks of kids who want to wear coats and sweaters in 55 degree weather. They have joined the ranks of kids who think anything stronger than a flurry is a blizzard.

So, here we are in the throes of our 2010 "winter blast." This means that school is cancelled for the second day in a row because of the dusting of snow on the ground. Almost no one is venturing from their well-stocked homes; after all, who knows when we'll be able to brave the roads for a trip to the grocery store? And the cherubs have taken full advantage of the almost-half-an-inch of snow on the ground.

There wasn't quite enough snow for even a Southern kid to erect a snowman, but Bean said, "We made the angels smile to show you how much we love the snow!"

FOR ALL YOU SCIENCE GEEKS - A GIVEAWAY

2009-12-15T00:01:00.000-08:00

The South is strange to me for a lot of reasons. Why are people so friendly? Why can't I find a Jewish deli anywhere? Why is there only one Dunkin' Donuts within 500 miles of my house?

But, there's a strange phenomenon that my mother and I have noticed as we drive to town on cold mornings. At first, we thought there was garbage wrapped around the base of dead plants. But, it seemed improbable that the garbage would go on for miles. A couple of hours later, we drove home and saw that it was all gone.

Closer inspection several days later showed that these clusters were balls of very delicate ice that formed around the base of the dead plants. Here's my question: What the heck? I've Googled like crazy and can't find an explanation. So, I'm giving a $5 Starbucks gift card to the first person who can explain the science to me behind these ice balls.

AN EARLY CHRISTMAS PRESENT

2009-12-14T06:30:00.000-08:00

After accidentally killing my beloved Malik, I had no desire to get another dog. Big Daddy said he wanted a dog, but I knew that the idea of a dog was much more appealing to him than actually having a dog in the house.

Then, this guy showed up.

And wouldn't leave.

And then Big Daddy started loving on him when he was outside. And then the cherubs named him "Piggy Pudding." And then we let him sleep on the back porch on a particularly cold night. And we gave him some food and water. And now we have a dog (renamed "Harley," because "Harley" is a manlier name than "Piggy Pudding").

Says Bean, "Mom? I'm glad that Harley's here. It's nice when everyone has dogs."

DECORATING THE TREE

2009-12-02T00:01:00.000-08:00

The girls had a great time decorating the tree (and undecorating and redecorating the tree and undecorating the tree ...). We try to keep the breakable ornaments out of their reach, but we still suffer ornament casualties every time they redecorate. My bike-riding Kermit the Frog ornament has been beheaded several times, and I just finished cleaning up the innards of a snowglobe ornament.

The cherubs also enjoy the pre-lit garland. They don it like feather boas and prance around the house like princesses.

I think Christmas with my own little angels is even better than Christmas when I was a kid!

THE SECRET LANGUAGE OF PARENTS

2009-12-01T12:01:00.000-08:00

While the cherubs are still young, the adults in the family will spell things that we don't want the girls to understand. This code works until the kids learn how to spell. Then, we'll have to learn a foreign language.

The girls have caught on to this secret language, even though they don't understand it. We were spelling to each other the other night at dinner about Christmas presents and such. I guess the girls were paying attention more than I thought, because after dinner, Bean came up to me and said, "Hey, Mom. I need my P-A-S-Y."

I said, "What do you need?"

Bean said, "You know, my L-I-F-D."

Hmm.

THE CHRISTMAS STORY, BEAN STYLE

2009-11-30T13:38:00.001-08:00

We're busily decorating for Christmas. We have a plastic Nativity scene for the girls once they decide they've had enough ornament hanging. Apparently, this Nativity scene was quite inspirational to Bean. She proceeded to tell us her version of the Christmas story:

"Once upon a time, Baby Jesus got stuck in the mud. Then, a creature came and took him, and he didn’t go home. So, Zerena came with all the people, and they started to sing. There was no room in the house, but they made some room. All the people came to get the room. The angels came and said, 'We need to ring the bell.' And the angel landed in the night, and took a bath. The end."

MAMA LOVES - BABY GIGGLES

2009-11-24T00:01:00.000-08:00

My friend Tanya over at In the Dailies has a weekly blog carnival about the little things that make us love being moms. One of the greatest joys of being a mom, as far as I'm concerned, is baby giggles.

Peanut laughs so hard at a little noise or a game of Peek-a-Boo. The joy just bubbles out of her. Having kids is such a great reminder to enjoy the simple things in life!

HOW DID THAT GET HERE?

2009-11-23T05:49:00.000-08:00

Bean and Cakes woke up pretty early this morning and were prowling the house for who knows how long until they came into my room to wake me up and tell me about their amazing new discovery:

Yes, that's a dead bird at the bottom of the steps.

So, my question is, how did it get here? And, how do I get rid of it? And, how do I keep my kids from touching it while I figure out if I can actually bring myself to pick it up and take it out to the trash? They've intricately woven this dead bird into one of their imaginative storylines.

Aaah, country life ...

LIFE IS LIKE A SHAKESPEAREAN PLAY

2009-11-17T00:01:00.000-08:00

My mother was an English teacher, so I often look at the world through Shakespeare-colored glasses. Something that happened over the weekend reminded me of Hamlet. I don't want to get into the whole, complicated story of Hamlet and all its interpretations. There is one speech in the story, however, that I would like to highlight.

Hamlet was upset with his mother for murdering his father and carrying on with his uncle. So, he was going on a tirade about all the things that made him angry and/or irritated about women. At one point in the speech, he highlighted women's general predisposition to "nickname God's creatures." At the risk of sounding sexist, that is so true. You don't see men doing it, but women do have a tendency to nickname God's creatures. As illustrated by my cherubs:

This time of year, we tend to get swarmed with migrating ladybug-type insects. They look like ladybugs to me, but I've been told that they're not. Anyway, they got into Grampy's hobby room. So, Grampy got out the trusty ol' Raid and killed them. Later, the girls happened upon the pile of dead ladybugs. For some reason, Bean decided to name one "Shirley." (I can only imagine that "Shirley" came from the fact that we are currently reading the second book in the Anne of Green Gables series). So, Bean was marching around the house, talking about Shirley the Ladybug, when Cakes chimed in, "Shirley and all her dead friends!"

TEMPERA PAINT

2009-11-16T05:51:00.000-08:00

Although I wish I were, I'm not really the kind of mom that has a regularly scheduled craft time with the kids. For one thing, I'm not very crafty. I mean, I knit and cross stitch and stuff, but it's always with patterns. I don't come up with my own ideas, I don't scrapbook, I don't sew, etc. And, although I tend to be a bit cluttered, I'm not a big fan of making messy things. That's why my kids don't often help me cook. My poor nerves can't handle flour, sugar, eggs, and other ingredients being tossed about the kitchen by happy, energetic children.

With homeschooling, I'm trying to focus on doing a seasonal craft once a week. So, armed with craft books my husband found on one of his jobs repairing an abandoned, water-damaged preschool, I began my journey into Craft Land. The first thing I noticed was that most of these crafts required construction paper and tempera paint. So, I went to the store and got construction paper and tempera paint. The cherubs were excited, so I let them each paint two pictures when we got the paint home from the store. Then, I put the paint on top of the refrigerator (safely out of reach of grabby little hands) and put my paint-drenched cherubs in the tub.

This morning, I walked into the kitchen to find Bean standing on a chair and pulling the paint down from the top of the fridge. So, I relented. The girls love painting.

And I'm just cringing inside and drawing water for a post-painting bath ....

GEARING UP FOR THANKSGIVING ...

2009-11-09T06:46:00.000-08:00

... with turkey pancakes. Gobble, gobble!

Anyone have ideas for Thanksgiving crafts for homeschooling?

BERT AND ERNIE ... SORT OF

2009-11-03T00:01:00.000-08:00

On a typical Sunday, Big Daddy's sisters and their husbands come to our house after church for a family dinner. Then, they amuse my children while I try to get some things done or just relax for a couple of hours. This week, Big Daddy got some fancy bakeware, and Aunts Kimmy and Tracy decided it would be fun to bake a Bert and Ernie cake with Bean and Cakes.

Here is the cake pan (a rather ambitious undertaking, but I wasn't doing the baking this time):

The first problem arose when the cake did not come cleanly out of the baking pan. So, Big Daddy and Aunt Kimmy carefully scraped the Muppet faces out of the pan and put it together like a jigsaw puzzle. After it cooled, Aunt Kimmy and the girls began to decorate, using up all the leftover icing in the house. They had to get a bit creative, seeing as we did not have enough of any one color to get a true Bert and Ernie rendition.

Aunt Kimmy did Bert, the girls did Ernie. The result? I like to think of it as "Sesame Street Meets The Exorcist."

And this proves that I am not the only pitiful excuse for a baker in the family!

CAMERA (UN)SHY

2009-11-02T00:01:00.000-08:00

I have a month-by-month frame for each of the cherubs for their first year of life. It's been nice, because it forces me to take lots of pictures of each of them. My little brother is always joking that there are no pictures of him as a kid because he's the third. I don't want to give poor Cakes and Peanut to have the same complaint.

I have noticed that the more kids I have, the harder it is to get a monthly picture of the youngest for a frame. Every time I prop up Peanut and break out the camera, Bean or Cakes (or both) show up smiling and yelling "cheese" and mauling Peanut with love and affection. Like Cakes did for Peanut's month three photo.

And like Bean did for Peanut's month four photo.

SCREAMING PEANUT

2009-10-30T00:01:00.000-07:00

Cakes, the fashionista of the family, decided that Peanut needed to be a princess today.

In the process, I was able to capture Peanut in her latest phase of development, shrieking happily at the top of her lungs.

It's too bad I didn't get it on video, so you could get the full, ear-piercing effect. I'll have to add that to my to-do list.

TORNADO WEATHER

2009-10-29T06:32:00.000-07:00

It's the tail end of tornado season. I must say, I've gotten to where I can handle it a bit better than when I first moved here. I remember hiding under the table, surrounded by cushions, yelling for my husband to get off the front porch and hide, already! Now, while my neighbor was cowering in her garage in terror, I sent Big Daddy and the cherubs out to take a few pictures and enjoy the breeze while Peanut and I watched from the porch.

THE LATEST PHASE

2009-10-26T07:33:00.001-07:00

I feel like I'm so busy all the time that I barely have time to breathe; then, I look around and feel like absolutely nothing has been accomplished. What am I so busy doing? Not writing my blog, that's for certain. Or cleaning and winterizing my slightly greening pool. And the laundry pile is huge, the living room is messy, and I forgot to take my kids to pre-school choir at church last night (and I'm one of the teachers! Yikes!).

Bean just walked by with a doll shoved up her shirt saying, "Hey, Mom! Look! I have a baby in my belly!" I actually caught Bean and Cakes trying to breastfeed each other the other day ... I guess maybe I'm spending most of my time nursing Peanut?

Speaking of Peanut, we've entered a delightful new phase in her development. She has discovered her voice, and spends 90% of the day (and night) gleefully emitting blood-curdling screams at the top of her lungs. I'm hoping that she will soon discover something quiet, like her feet.

SAXON MATH

2009-10-02T00:01:00.000-07:00

As my readers know, I'm a homeschooler. I started homeschooling Bean this year for Pre-K. I felt that I was kind of short-changing her on math, since I wasn't following any particular curriculum and was just working with her on counting, basic addition and subtraction, etc. Not being much of a math person myself (I am a math idiot), I thought it would be best if I got a curriculum to guide me through the murky waters of Kindergarten Mathematics.

I researched several different math curriculums (Singapore Math, A Beka Book, etc.) and consulted my crazy-about-math, asks-for-math-textbooks-for-Christmas, ex-high-school-math-teacher sister-in-law. And so, I settled on Saxon Math Homeschool. And I love it!

The teacher's book is scripted, so even a math moron like yours truly can easily teach the lesson with minimal effort. The curriculum requires the manipulatives kit, but that kit contains all the manipulatives needed for Kindergarten through third grade! And each lesson involves manipulatives, which is perfect for my little hands-on learner. I think math is her favorite subject now! The lessons are not too long, are age appropriate, and provide plenty of time to explore the manipulatives while still teaching basic math concepts and applying them to real life.

MORTIFYING MOMMY MOMENT

2009-10-01T00:01:00.000-07:00

We all went to Aunt LeeAnn's house for haircuts. It was a momentous occasion, because it was Cakes' very first haircut.

She did very well, although she looked pretty intense throughout the procedure.

After the girls got their hair cut, they went to play with Aunt LeeAnn's youngest daughter while I got my hair cut, colored, and styled. We heard my cherubs telling Aunt LeeAnn's little muffin about decorating. I laughed, explaining that "decorating" at my house meant the kids were coloring on the walls, and I joked with Aunt LeeAnn that I should buy stock in Mr. Clean Magic Erasers.

After my hair was done, I went upstairs to collect my girls. And was mortified to see this.

And this.

And now, all playdates must be prefaced with, "And DO NOT color on the walls!"

JUST IN TIME FOR PICTURES

2009-09-30T00:01:00.001-07:00

Ah, sweet little Cakes.

The baby of the family for almost three years.

Well, that sweet little princess bit her big sister in the face.

Just in time for soccer pictures. A nice, big bitemark under her left eye is preserved for posterity. Nice.

PUTTIN' ON THE RITZ

2009-09-29T00:01:00.000-07:00

Bean and Cakes are in the stage of wanting to put on lavish productions all the time. I'm definitely getting my money's worth on those recital costumes!

Grampy, in MacGyver-like fashion, rigged a curtain using string, a throw blanket, and chip clips.

And now we enjoy front row seats at the best shows in town!

WHY THE HIATUS FROM BLOGGING?

2009-09-28T08:06:00.000-07:00

Cakes discovered the computer. Now we can't get her off.

Her website of choice is Nick Jr., and she spends a lot of time developing her fine motor skills by playing the games. At least it keeps her occupied while I'm homeschooling Bean ...

WORKS FOR ME WEDNESDAY - STRAP PERFECT

2009-09-09T06:16:00.000-07:00

I've never done a Works for Me Wednesday before. But, I found a product that really works for me, and I just had to share it.

As my regular readers know, I have a 12-week-old little girl, and I breastfeed her. As my readers also know, I'm pretty well-endowed. So, when I'm nursing, I wear a size 36-K nursing bra. Yes, it's enormous. And it's really hard to get the support I need, even from a great nursing bra, when I'm so ... um ... blessed.

I kept seeing commercials for Strap Perfect, and I often wondered if it would give me support without making me look even more ... um ... blessed. So, I went out to the grocery store and got a box of six Strap Perfects for $10. First, let me say that they are not nearly as easy to put on as the commercial suggests (especially for someone so ... um ... blessed), and I even broke one trying to figure out how to attach it to my heavy load. But, once they were on - WOW! What a difference!

Here is a before shot (you'll have to excuse the self-portrait; I was home alone at the time):

And here is the after shot:

I can't speak for the advertised purpose of Strap Perfect, which is to provide versatility in strap location without buying all different kinds of bras; but, as you can see, there was a significant amount of lift and support. Nothing is as wonderful as my minimizer bras for lift and support, but they don't make nursing bras. Strap Perfect is as good as it gets for ... um ... blessed women who need a nursing bra. I no longer feel like I'm carrying around two canteloupes in tube socks. I love this product!

For more Works for Me Wednesday, check out We Are THAT Family.

AFTER THE PARTY ...

2009-08-27T00:01:00.000-07:00

Cakes and Bean had a great time at Cakes' birthday party.

There was plenty of sugar shock to go around.

Cakes was excited with the gifts she received. When she unwrapped the Ken doll that Bean had given to her, she announced, "Finally! A Barbie of my very own!"

After cake, presents, and play time, it was into the bath to wash off all the chocolate crumbs and yellow icing. I went into my bedroom to nurse Peanut, while Big Daddy got the girls all pj'ed up and then relaxed on the couch to talk on the phone. He was still on the couch when I emerged from the bedroom. And the girls were here:

This is what was left of Wubbzy:

I'm not sure of those marks are from their fingers or their tongues. Honestly, it could be either.

I'M NOT A BAKER, EPISODE 3

2009-08-26T14:46:00.000-07:00

It's Cakes' birthday. So, we continue with the tradition of Mommy baking an ugly cake for her cherub's birthday. Cakes loves all things Dora. However, we've already done the Dora Cake. Yes, it was pretty terrible.

So, this year, even though Cakes loves Dora, I decided to go with a Wubbzy cake. How hard could it be? It's just a yellow rectangle with arms, legs, and a tail. Of course, I thought the same thing about Pablo being just a blue circle with a hat, and look how that turned out.

Anyway, this is what the Wubbzy cake was supposed to look like. And this is how it actually looked when I baked it:

I must say, I think I'm improving ...

SPONGE BOB SQUARE PANTS

2009-08-25T00:01:00.000-07:00

I'm not a big fan of Sponge Bob. I find him a bit irritating. I don't like the potty humor or the sometimes grotesque distortions of the characters. And, I don't think it's age-appropriate for my cherubs. I must have really drilled that into their heads, because I had this conversation with Cakes today:

Cakes (watching "Lazytown"): Momma, this is scary.

Me: This episode is making you a little nervous?

Cakes: Yes. It's not age-appropriate.

Me (putting on "Go, Diego, Go!"): Is this better?

Cakes: Diego! That's age-appropriate!

SOCCER BEAN

2009-08-24T00:01:00.000-07:00

It is soccer season again. Last year, Bean was a little shy about playing. She wouldn't even go on the field without holding either my hand or Big Daddy's hand. This year was a different story.

She had her first game on Saturday morning. She started off with a pose by the goal.

She sat on the sidelines for the first quarter. That didn't sideline the fun, though. There were a few rousing cheers of "Yay, team!";

then, some aggressive Ring-Around-The-Rosie.

When she got onto the field, she sprang into action like I have never seen before. With a huge smile on her face, she cheerily plowed through anyone that got into her way in her mad dash for the soccer ball. Every fiber of her being was focused on kicking that ball.

At halftime, the coach asked her if she was tired, or if she still wanted to play. I saw her lips form the words, "I want to play," and she was off again.

All the excitement was a little much for Peanut.

COUNTY FAIR

2009-08-20T00:01:00.000-07:00

We went to the County Fair. It was the first time my girls had ever been to a fair. It was the first time they had ever been on rides. Big Daddy and I always thought fairs were fun, but taking kids to fairs is even more fun than going on the rides ourselves. Bean loved the rides right away.

Cakes ... well ... not so much.

She did warm up to it eventually, though.

We explored farm equipment,

looked at animals,

and ate really expensive and unhealthy carnival food. We can't wait until next year!

WORDLESS WEDNESDAY - MY PEANUT'S A HAM

2009-08-19T00:01:00.000-07:00

For more Wordless Wednesday, check out 5 Minutes for Mom.

PRINCESSES AT PLAY

2009-08-18T16:20:00.000-07:00

My girls are very princess-y. They like clothes, costume jewelry (including earrings, necklaces, tiaras, the whole deal), Barbies, make-up, etc. So, one would expect their play to be rather refined. One would not expect their play to be like this:

They must get it from their dad ...

PLAYING DRESS-UP

2009-08-11T00:01:00.000-07:00

Big Daddy kindly let me sleep in this weekend. He kept an eye on the cherubs and prepared a wonderful breakfast of fresh fruit, pancakes, turkey bacon, eggs, and biscuits. While he was in the kitchen, the girls said they wanted to play dress-up.

Bean and Cakes got me up for breakfast and let me know they'd been playing dress-up. I admired their wonderful clothing choices, and we all had a hearty breakfast. After breakfast, Bean said she needed new clothes because her outfit was dirty.

So, I went to the girls closet to get a new outfit for Bean. This is what the girls' closet usually looks like:

This is what I found:

And this:

And this:

So, I dug through the foot-deep pile of clothes for new outfits for my girls, and spent the next two hours sorting clothes while simultaneously nursing and burping Peanut. I didn't really mind. At least they got along swimmingly for a couple of hours - they could only wreak this much havoc by cooperating!

DAY AT THE PARK

2009-08-10T10:34:00.001-07:00

It's been in the 90's here. Very hot. I'm not a big fan of hot. I'm not a big fan of cold either; I prefer a Mediterranean climate. But, I digress.

It's been very hot here. Normally, that would keep me holed up in my air-conditioned house; but, work has slacked off for Big Daddy after six long weeks of working double shifts and going out of state for jobs. So, he was itching to get outside with the cherubs and their new bikes. Bean has been riding for a few weeks now.

She did very well. She did panic a bit on some downslopes, and she took a few spills; but, she always got right back on that horse like the little trooper that she is. We even had the appearance of *gasp* blood, bit she shook it off and tackled those little slopes before Big Daddy and I were too sweaty to go on.

Cakes is new to the bike scene. She's done the whole tricycle thing, but a two-wheeler is a whole new animal. She spent the first hour or so trying to pedal backwards. But, she eventually got the hang of things and was riding around like a pro by the end of our outing.

GOING NATURAL

2009-08-03T00:01:00.000-07:00

I encouraged my friend over at Chico and Me Plus 3 to go natural for her childbirth. Check out her birthing story! It made me laugh out loud.

How many of you went natural? What made you decide to go that way?

A LITTLE (S)MOTHERING

2009-07-31T15:32:00.000-07:00

Peanut continues to be a constant source of entertainment for Bean and Cakes - especially for Cakes. She practically mauls Peanut with love and affection.

For the most part, Peanut enjoys the attention from Cakes. I think Cakes gets more smiles from her than anyone else in the family.

Cakes is also her chief tormenter. As previously stated, she often tries to pick Peanut up by her head. She's also a "close talker." She'll get right up into Peanut's space (and Peanut has a definite sense of personal space) to babble and squeal adoringly. She smothers her with kisses on the mouth and head hugs (wrapping her arms around Peanut's head and squeezing), despite my protests of, "Gently, gently!"

But, Peanut is an easygoing kid. She's got quite a tolerance for her doting big sisters, and knows that her mom will swoop in to rescue her when things get a little unbearable.

And, breaking out the baby and the camera phone is a surefire way to put an end to any fighting between Bean and Cakes.

I'M BAAAAACK!

2009-07-30T09:41:00.000-07:00

I have been so woefully neglectful of my blog lately! Having three kids is an enormous change from having two. I've always heard it said, and now I'm living it.

I remember how busy I was when Bean was born. I was a new mother and I had absolutely no idea what I was doing. I felt like I barely had time to breathe or bathe.

Then, Cakes came along. Overnight, the number of children I had doubled. I was so busy. I remember wondering what the heck I was doing when I had just one - sitting around and eating bonbons? I felt like I was running ragged.

And now Peanut is here. Six weeks, two bouts of mastitis, and a 24-hour bug later, I'm wondering how I thought having two kept me impossibly busy! In spite of that, she's a very good baby. She's been sleeping better than Cakes since the day she was born. She only cries when she's hungry or poopy (which is pretty much non-stop; seriously, I have never seen a kid poop so much; she's like a Poopinator).

Peanut was tiny when she was born. And she's stayed tiny. Her weight gain has been about 1/2 an ounce a day (normal weight gain is 1/2 to 1 ounce per day). Her regular pediatrician (who is used to me bringing in my petite children) has been out on maternity. The pedicatrician that has been seeing Peanut in the interim is obsessed with getting her to gain an ounce a day. So, I was at the lactation consultant every other day. Once, I went from nursing in front of the lactation consultant to getting examined for my mastitis by my OB. Sheesh! I may as well have just spent the day topless!

But, things have settled into a routine. Peanut is up to about 7 1/2 pounds, which makes everyone happy. Bean is manhandling the baby less and helping me out more. Cakes has pretty much recovered from her jealousy, and now spends a great deal of time trying to pick Peanut up by her head when my back is turned.

And, I'm busy. And, I'm sure that after I have a fourth baby, I will wonder why I thought I was so busy with just three kids.

I ALWAYS GO PAST MY DUE DATE ...

2009-06-29T19:51:00.000-07:00

... so, imagine my surprise when baby Peanut actually showed up on time!!!! Yes, Peanut arrived on June 17 at 2:46 a.m.

I guess that as far as labors go, it was pretty easy. However, as far as my labors go, it was the longest (about 7 hours from start to finish) and the hardest (even though I only pushed for three minutes, Peanut came out face up).

It's funny how each labor is different. I'll go into the first two labors some other time, but this is the first labor that actually had me screaming for the last ten minutes. The doctor broke my water, and that was the end of my peaceful, quiet, breathing-through-the-contractions technique. After two of those broken water contractions, I pushed the nurse's call button to let them know I needed to push, but all that came out was screaming. Here is a transcript of that short conversation:

Me: (push call button)

Nurse: Can I help you?

Me: (loud screaming)

Nurse: (Pause) Um, can I help you?

Me: (loud screaming)

At that point, the birthing entourage raced into the room and the party got started.

Anyway, here is a picture of Peanut with her adoring (and sometimes insanely jealous) big sisters:

IN THE DAILIES ...

2009-06-16T15:41:00.001-07:00

As you know, I'm a grumpy pregnant lady. But, this post made me laugh today until I cried. Thanks, Tanya!!!!

STILL PREGNANT ... HOW ABOUT MY HEAD?

2009-06-15T06:21:00.000-07:00

I'm at that point in pregnancy: the point where I'm grumpy all the time, I eat lots of chocolate, and I shut myself in the house because I'm tired of leaving the house when I'm so huge. I'm not a very pleasant pregnant lady, and I get extremely impatient by the end.

So, since I'm a self-imposed hermit right now, I got a new belly picture. Tell me the truth, does my head look pregnant?

Hopefully, I'll be posting pictures of Peanut out of the womb soon. I'll try to keep blogging in spite of my general grumpiness.

STINKIN' KFC ....

2009-05-29T05:20:00.000-07:00

I don't go to KFC much. But, here in the South, they serve catfish along with their chicken. My girls (especially Bean) are big fans of catfish. I don't like to cook fish, because I don't like how it makes the house smell, but I want my kids to be able to eat it and get their Omega-3's. So, last week, we all went to KFC while we were out shopping.

We all got the buffet, and were happily chowing down. One of the KFC employees was walking around the dining room with a tray of biscuits, asking if anyone wanted any. It was then that we noticed that this employee was hacking up a lung all over those hot, fresh biscuits. And all over the buffet. The buffet which I was ingesting at that very moment.

So, thank you, stinkin' KFC employee. I was up all night with a sore throat, a cough, and congestion. And pregnancy prevents me from actually medicating myself. Stinkin' KFC ....

THE VIEW FROM THE TOP

2009-05-22T07:32:00.001-07:00

This is what I see when I look down:

Yeah, I haven't seen my feet in quite some time. I'm not too concerned about that. I also can't see when I've leaned the underside of my blossoming belly into food on the counter or stovetop. That concerns me a little more than not seeing my feet; but, at this point, I must say I don't care too much if I'm the pregnant lady walking around with food stains on her belly. I mean, it's like a magnet for food. Couple that with pregnant clumsiness, and I'm pretty much a poster child for the need to tuck napkins into your shirt collar to eat.

What gets me, and I don't know if you can tell from the picture, is that my belly button isn't centered. I think Peanut likes to hang out on the right side of my body, because my navel is always shooting out to the left. I look down, and I wonder if it's as obvious from the front as it is from the top. And, it's like this with every pregnancy. And, I tend to be a bit OCD about centering. I'm one of those people that, if I touch something with my left hand, I have an overwhelming urge to touch it with my right hand as well so that I feel balanced. I'm not like Monk or Howie Mandel or anything, but I do have those little idiosyncracies that I like to think make me delightfully quirky. And, my bellybutton is already freakishly huge. Weird.

THE HAND OF GOD

2009-05-20T00:01:00.000-07:00

Another weird pregnancy dream. I live on the outskirts of Tornado Alley, and I tend to have dreams about tornados during tornado season. So, couple that with my growing frame and pregnancy hormones, and you have some bizaare dreams. Here is the latest.

I was driving to the store with my children, when the sky blackened and the clouds became the consistency of frozen black Jello. Worried that a tornado was imminent, I pulled into the parking lot of an office building and dragged my cherubs inside to wait out the storm.

Instead of seeing tornados, however, I saw a large, black, handshaped cloud reach down, grab a car, shake it vigorously, then drop it. Everyone in the dream started yelling about the "hand of God" cloud, and scattered for cover. Now, apparently, the only way to escape the "hand of God" cloud was to squeeze into a small, windowless space. And that's where the pregnancy hormones entered. It wasn't hard for me to squeeze my cherubs into small places, but I also had to find a way to get my enormous uterus into that same, tight space.

I don't remember the rest of the dream, except that we ended up at a children's birthday party. Yeah, strange.

I guess pregnancy makes me feel a bit claustrophobic. When I was pregnant with Bean, I had a floor-length, denim slipdress that was loose on me when I was not pregnant, but was form-fitting enough to make my belly feel supported while I was pregnant. At least, it was supportive when I first put it on.

On the forty-minute drive to work, I began to feel slightly squished and uncomfortable in the dress, and I started to wonder if I had made a mistake in my choice of clothing. As the day progressed, I grew increasingly panicked as the dress seemed to shrink on me and restrict my breathing. I kept eyeing the scissors on my desk, wondering how unprofessional it would really be for a legal assistant to walk around with the side of her dress cut open. By the time I got home, I was almost in hysterics. I walked into the house, screaming for my husband to get that horrible dress off and burn it in the back yard.

And that is the last time I ever wore that dress. And that is how far off-track I got from the beginning of this post, which was supposed to focus on my weird pregnancy dream.

THINGS THAT SCARE MY KIDS ...

2009-05-19T00:01:00.000-07:00

My kids (especially Cakes) are generally pretty fearless. They jump off of high things and horse around almost more than their poor mother's pregnant nerves can handle. But, they are scared of some things:

Houseflies (photo courtesy of QPM)...

Moths (photo courtesy of the University of Sydney)...

Finding Nemo ...

And, then there was the critter we found in our yard the other day that, surprisingly, didn't scare my cherubs to death:

We were outside after a spring rain, and one of these little guys crawled right over Cakes' flip-flopped feet and into a crevice near the sidewalk leading to our back porch. I expected mass hysteria on the part of the children; instead, they squatted down exclaiming about how small and cute it was, and then they proceeded to try to force-feed the poor critter dandelion greens until it managed to escape when the girls were distracted.

RABBITS AND CHICKENS AND MULCH

2009-05-14T00:01:00.000-07:00

Last year, we had two major issues with our garden: weeds and those disgustingly enormous tomato worms. So, we decided to get a head start on those issues this year. We have loaded up with organic pesticide, and we are buying untreated mulch and hay to spread around the plants and down the aisles. I know that mulch will not completely stop weeds from growing, but we are hoping to retard the growth enough to make the weeds manageable.

However, we have been accosted by a new enemy. Our garden is being decimated by a humongous rabbit. Yes, one gigantic rabbit is singlehandedly destroying our fledgling plants. We've lost half of our tomatoes and broccoli, and we've lost all of our lettuce and beans. So, when I went to the local co-op to purchase my hay and untreated mulch (along with some seed corn to bolster our currently pathetic corn crop), I asked the co-opers for some advice on dealing with the pesky ... um ... is a rabbit a rodent? The co-op staff gave me three suggestions.

The first suggestion was to spread human hair around the perimeter of the garden. I figured we could get some hair clippings from the local salon. However, Grampy nixed that idea. He was a little grossed out, and declared that he could not eat vegetables that had been nourished by other people's rotting hair. Fair enough.

The second suggestion was to sprinkle Cayenne pepper around the perimeter of the garden. The smell will temporarily keep the rabbits out. Of course, it must be reapplied after every rain or watering, and the rabbit will eventually get used to the smell and invade the garden again.

So, the third suggestion was to follow the second suggestion. Once the rabbit gets used to the smell of Cayenne pepper, we need to sprinkly shavings of Irish Spring soap around the garden. Again, this is only a temporary solution, as the rabbit will eventually get used to that smell, too; but, the hope is that the above methods will deter the rabbit long enough to allow the plants to grow a little. Once the plants get too big, the rabbit won't want to eat them anymore, and will be forced to seek tender young shoots elsewhere.

While I was receiving these pearls of wisdom from the co-opers, my cherubs were happily occupied with this:

Yes, a big trough of chicks. Fortunately, the chickens were covered with netting. Although my cherubs found them to be adorable in the trough, I think there would have been mass hysteria if the chicks had been able to make actual contact with them.

MY FAVORITE MOTHER'S DAY VIDEO

2009-05-13T05:11:00.001-07:00

I can't believe I forgot to post my favorite Mother's Day video on my Facebook page this past Sunday (check out Barats and Bereta). So, without further ado, here it is:

Happy belated Mother's Day to all those moms out there!

BIG DADDY TO LEAN, MEAN, DADDY MACHINE - WEEK 7

2009-05-12T08:10:00.000-07:00

And we have hit another plateau. Sort of. I mean, that Pioneer Woman chocolate cake that Big Daddy baked me for Mother's Day and proceeded to eat large portions of has not helped, but he's been pretty careful this week. Still, he is stuck at 296. So, we are going to decrease his calories just a bit, increase his water and green tea intake, and (hopefully) up his activity level. His jobs have kept him pretty active, but construction work is not the same as 30 minutes of sustained aerobic activity.

And, just because you might care to know, I have only gained 23 pounds so far this pregnancy. Yay! Of course, I still have 6-7 weeks to go, so there's still a chance for that number to get bumped up to 30 pounds. Especially since Big Daddy baked me that Pioneer Woman chocolate cake ...

So, here's the latest tally:

Starting weight = 312 pounds

Ending weight this week = 296 pounds

Weight loss this week = 0 pounds

Total weight loss = 16 pounds

2009-05-08T11:03:00.000-07:00

BIG DADDY TO LEAN MEAN DADDY MACHINE - WEEK 6

2009-05-05T11:32:00.000-07:00

Big Daddy loves to cook. He's one of those people that intuitively knows what flavors go together, and he considers cooking an artistic release. I, on the other hand, am chained to the cookbook. Even then, things don't always turn out well, especially in the baking department (you may remember Dora and Pablo ...).

One pattern that we have noticed, though, is snacking. Big Daddy will often grab a little handful of this, a little spoonful of that, and little nibble of the other. There is typically some snack or another sitting out on the table that is accessible to the cherubs, and it often proves tempting to Big Daddy. Usually it's fruit, but it occasionally consists of peanut butter-y things or fruit snacks or something along those lines.

Big Daddy also snacks when he cooks. I guess it's pretty impossible when cooking to avoid helping yourself to the fruits of your labor. So, we're starting to work on becoming mindful of everything that Big Daddy puts into his mouth. It's so easy to snack mindlessly, and then not even remember it five minutes later. I guess that's one of the reasons that food diaries work so well: your mind is constantly focused on what is going in.

So, here's the latest tally:

Starting weight = 312 pounds

Ending weight this week = 296 pounds

Weight loss this week = 1 pound

Total weight loss = 16 pounds

BUSY BOREDOM

2009-04-30T12:02:00.000-07:00

I feel like I'm always going. I'm planning and/or cooking meals, washing laundry, breaking up fights between two seemingly angelic children, keeping up with long-distance friends on Facebook, arranging playdates, spending countless hours in the bathroom because of the 25 pounds sitting on my bladder ....

And yet, I find that there are days when I'm completely bored out of my mind. Like today. The house is actually relatively clean, I have a handle on the laundry, nobody's on Facebook, and the girls have been getting along (for the most part).

What do you guys do when you actually have free time?

BIG DADDY TO LEAN, MEAN, DADDY MACHINE - WEEK 5

2009-04-28T07:39:00.000-07:00

We are back on track with Big Daddy's lifestyle change. During the first half of the week, Big Daddy was a bit discouraged. No matter how hard he tried to watch his caloric intake, he couldn't seem to lose anything.

Then, three days into the week, he dropped two pounds! Some slight changes have been added to his lifestyle change:

1. He is drinking more green tea, which studies have shown help with weight loss (along with a plethra of other wonderful things for your body).

2. He pairs simple carbohydrates with acids like vinegar and lemon juice. Good Housekeeping's April 2009 issue had an article saying that acids ingested in combination with simple carbohydrates may slow the absorption of those simple carbs, allowing them to be converted into energy rather than fat.

3. He has upped his activity level with gardening, lawn care, and some more strenuous jobs.

And here is the tally so far:

Starting weight = 312 pounds

Ending weight this week = 297 pounds

Weight loss this week = 2 pounds

Total weight loss = 15 pounds

MUST BE A GIRL THING ...

2009-04-24T08:17:00.000-07:00

I don't like bugs. They freak me out. The bigger the bugs, the more they freak me out. No one told me that bugs get bigger as one moves southward. Before I had kids, I freaked out freely when I saw a bug. Big Daddy, being my knight in shining armor, always hurried to my rescue, squashing the offending critter.

Now that I have kids, I am keenly aware of my reaction to bugs. I don't want to pass on my penchant for freaking out about them. So, I am very careful to remain calm, no matter how large and freaky the bug is that appears. I calmly explain to my cherubs that one needn't be afraid of bugs. I tell them to look at the bugs, but not to touch them unless Mommy and Daddy say it's okay (seeing as there are quite a few poisonous bugs here in the wonderful South). I tell them that we only kill bugs that are inside because they are pesty, not because they are freakishly terrifying.

Despite my efforts, however, my girls burst into hysterics at the sight of even the smallest bug. But, right now, small bugs are not the problem. It's crane fly swarming season.

They are enormous and repulsive. They look like a cross between a prehistoric mosquito and a flying spider. They congregate in our car port so much that I can no longer park in there if I want any hope of getting my kids to actually exit the vehicle. They gather on my back porch, so we now have to go in and out of the front door. They swarm up from the grass, which makes the walk from the car to the front door a forced torture march for my princesses. I drag them screaming to the door, yelling above their shrieks, "Keep moving! Keep moving! They won't get on you if you keep moving!"

We've put up bluebird and purple martin houses in an attempt to reduce the swarms. The poor birds can't eat enough to keep up with the plethra of crane flies.

So, in spite of nearly unbearable cabin fever, we don't venture outside much. We sit wistfully in front of the window screens, waiting for the swarms to abate ...

R.I.P. MALIK (1995-2009)

2009-04-22T06:42:00.001-07:00

In 2000, Malik was found tied to a tree in Philadelphia with a note pinned to his collar that said, "Please take me home with you." He was extremely aggressive, covered in fleas, and his skin was black and scaly from seborrhea. He showed signs of neglect and physical abuse. And I fell in love with him at first sight.

For nine years, Malik was at my side at every moment. He walked so closely behind me that if I stopped suddenly, he would run into my calf with his cold, wet nose.

After I had the cherubs, Malik didn't receive as much attention as he used to. But, I don't think he minded. He was old, and his day consisted of eating, sleeping, and doing his business. He didn't affect daily life in the house much, but he was a fixture.

On Monday, I accidentally hit Malik with my car, breaking his leg in a very bad place. Because of his age and the nature of his injury, the veterinarian recommended euthenasia. He will be sorely missed.

FROM BIG DADDY TO LEAN MEAN DADDY MACHINE WEEK 4

2009-04-20T13:02:00.000-07:00

Well, the healthy lifestyle was thrown into turmoil last week when Big Daddy's twin unexpectedly landed in the ICU. There was a lot of hospital food ingested, and mounds of comfort food like chili and pasta. So, progress was not made. Big Daddy was so discouraged that he didn't weigh himself last week. He ventured on the scale this week, however, and realized that the damage was not as bad as he had feared.

Although Big Daddy didn't lose any weight over the past two weeks, he also didn't gain any weight. So, we're no worse off than we were two weeks ago. And now, back to the straight and narrow. We are back to watching portion sizes, and Big Daddy is on a job that will require a lot of physical exertion. We're hoping this will jump-start that last plateau and start the weight coming off again.

Oh, and Aunt Tracy is out of the hospital and recovering nicely.

I, on the other hand, gained five pounds in the last three weeks (thank you, Peanut). I know I'm only supposed to be gaining a pound a week right now, but Peanut loves her chocolate!

NEW ARRIVAL (NO, NOT PEANUT)

2009-04-10T00:01:00.001-07:00

Our neighbor's horse had her foal this week. Poor Ms. Sandy spent a week sleeping on hay bales in her barn (through freezing temperatures, a tornado warning, and pesky barn cats) while her mare labored. Finally, at 6:00 a.m. on Monday, the foal made her appearance. We tried to get some closer pictures, but the mare was rather protective and the electric fence was turned on.

Aunt Tracy's cat had kittens this week, too. She is desperately trying to get us to take one. Fortunately for me, Bean showed a major allergic reaction to them, so I have an excuse to vehemently oppose bringing yet another pet into the house.

IMAGES FROM MULE DAY

2009-04-09T09:29:00.000-07:00

Yes, there is a festival in a neighboring town called Mule Day. It's been an annual event since 1834 and brings in about 200,000 visitors each year. It all seemed rather anti-climactic to me, seeing as I had waited five years to go to this celebration of all things mule. Maybe we needed to go to more than just the parade ...

Anyway, here are pictures from the Mule Day 2009 parade (note the wagons full of Mule Queens past, as well as the Mule Queen 2009 and her court).

We left before the parade ended. You've seen a hundred mules, you've seen them all, right?

LEAN MEAN DADDY MACHINE, WEEK 3

2009-04-06T08:09:00.000-07:00

Well, Big Daddy has hit his first weight loss plateau. He knows that weight loss tends to plateau on occasion, but he's a little discouraged about it happening so soon, especially after such tremendous weight loss during the first two weeks.

My solution is for Big Daddy to begin an exercise regimen. We both know that sensible eating alone is not going to maximize weight loss. Big Daddy has a very physical job working construction, but that kind of exertion is different than a daily 30 minutes of controlled and steady movement.

Unfortunately, Big Daddy heard some chiropractor on the radio talking about cutting all sorts of foods out of your diet to make weight loss happen more quickly. Personally, I think those kind of self-depriving fad diets do more harm than good in the long run, but they hold some kind of strange appeal for Big Daddy. I'm all for moderation. I mean, if people really feel the need to deprive themselves of something for the sake of weight loss, I think they should look at it from the angle that they are already depriving themselves of all the junk food they would normally eat and of the portion sizes they would usually take.

So, I'll see if I can light a fire under Big Daddy to start in on the exercise, and we'll see what happens this week.

SWEET BIRDIE

2009-04-02T11:42:00.000-07:00

The cherubs were out at the compost pile (aka the wormy horse poo pile) with Grampy yesterday. They rode out with him on the lawn tractor and were playing in our little patch of trees while Grampy shoveled compost (aka wormy horse poo) into the wagon for spreading on our soon-to-be-planted garden.

Suddenly, Bean came up to Grampy with a very sad look on her face. In one hand was the body of a dead bird. In the other hand was the head of the dead bird. She said, "Grampy, Cakes broke my bird."

Ah, country life. Yes, I was a little disturbed to think that my youngest decapitated a dead bird. It wasn't the first time she's dismembered something dead, but it's still gross. Then, later, I realized that Bean had been playing with the dead bird before its decapitation.

So, the cherubs spent a lot of time in the tub yesterday ....

LEAN MEAN DADDY MACHINE, WEEK TWO

2009-03-30T00:01:00.000-07:00

And so, we enter week two of Big Daddy's transformation into Lean, Mean, Daddy Machine.

Big Daddy has done very well this past week. He's trying to keep his daily caloric intake at around 1800. Since he's limiting his calories, he wants to make sure that every calorie counts; so, he's trying to eat the most nutritious food he can that fits our budget and time constraints.

For the most part, Big Daddy continues to eat pre-portioned meals for lunch and supper, with a carefully thought-out breakfast. Occasionally, he will eat the same supper as the rest of the family, Googling the foods we are eating to find the exact portion size and calorie count of each food item. He hasn't really deprived himself of anything. If he wants dessert (which isn't often, as he doesn't have nearly the sweet tooth of yours truly), he carefully counts his calories throughout the day and indulges in a small but satisfying portion of sweetness.

We went out to eat, and Big Daddy picked out the healthiest choices on the menu, double-checking with the servers for calorie count.

Big Daddy also likes to gather as much information as possible about living a healthy lifestyle. This past week, we watched the Discovery Channel Special "What's Making You Fat?" Bob Greene laid out ten myths of weight loss:

10. You overeat because you love food.

Now, for me, that is absolutely the case, but for most people (Big Daddy included), eating is more of a self-soothing reaction to stress, boredom, etc.

9. Exercise makes you bulk up.

8. No more snacking!

Actually, eating healthy snacks and small meals at regular intervals (three small meals and two small snacks are what our GP recommended) can stave off hunger and boost metabolism.

7. Carbs are bad.

I've never gone in for the Atkins diet. I believe in all things in moderation, not in a lifestyle of deprivation. Choosing healthy carbs (e.g. whole grains, veggies, potatoes) provides necessary nutrients to the body.

6. Cardio is key; strength training is secondary.

Muscle requires four times the calories to maintain as fat. Therefore, the more muscle you have, the more calories you burn.

5. You have to drastically cut calories.

Cutting calories too quickly actually makes your body think you're starving. So, your body automatically goes into self-preservation mode and holds onto all its fat stores. The best way is to cut calories a little at a time, increasing the calorie cuts as the weight comes off.

4. Avoid fats entirely.

The body needs fat to survive. The important thing is to eat the right kinds of fat, especially Omega-3 fatty acids.

3. You can't lose weight eating out.

We've already seen that it's possible to lose weight and eat out. It's all about making good choices as far as food and portion sizes.

2. Food alone is what's making you fat.

EXERCISE!

1. You'll be happy if you lose weight.

Skinny or not, you'll still be you. You need to be happy with who God made you to be on the inside, and do your best to take care of yourself both inside and out.

So, here's the rundown for the week:

Starting weight = 312 pounds

Ending weight this week = 299 pounds

Weight loss this week = 6 pounds

Total weight loss = 13 pounds

IS THAT ... IS THAT A COMPLIMENT?

2009-03-27T08:20:00.000-07:00

Big Daddy likes to roll around on the floor with the cherubs, tossing them in the air like bags of flour. Bean is a big fan; Cakes can take it or leave it.

The other day, Big Daddy was rough-housing with Bean. She suddenly stopped and said, "Daddy, you smell bad!" After a short pause, she continued, "But, you're really handsome!"

ANOTHER CROWDED STORY TIME

2009-03-24T00:01:00.000-07:00

The special guests are rolling out fast and furious at Barnes and Noble lately. Although nothing has yet to compare with the crowds drawn by Curious George (he even beat out the city's opera company performing a kiddie version of "The Magic Flute"), we had strain our necks for the appearance of Winnie-the-Pooh this past weekend.

Miss Ruthie, the lucky Barnes and Noble employee who is in charge of Story Time and other reading groups for kids from toddler through high school, picked the shortest Pooh story she could find. She began reading at the top of her lungs about Pooh visiting Rabbit and getting stuck in Rabbit's hole. But, the electricity running through those little toddler and pre-school bodies was too much competition for her; she glossed over the end of the story and brought out Pooh.

We waited (not so) patiently in line for our chance to get our picture taken with Pooh. Bean kept lamenting, "It's taking such a long time!" That always prompts me to sing "Have Patience" from that great 70's album "The Music Machine." I usually only have to sing it once, and my kids stop complaining so they don't have to hear me sing it again.

As an aside, I never thought I would live to see the day that I would belt out toddler music in very public and crowded venues without a care for who was listening. As it is, you can hear me at any given moment singing the Alphabet Song at the top of my lungs in the supermarket.

So, after a rousing chorus of "Have Patience," it was finally our turn to pose with Pooh. Surprisingly, Cakes didn't scream in abject terror. She was even willing to pose without a parental figure close at hand in case of emergency.

As you can see, she still kept her distance. But, there was no screaming, and she was so proud of herself for being so brave!

FROM BIG DADDY TO LEAN, MEAN, DADDY MACHINE

2009-03-23T07:41:00.000-07:00

Big Daddy has a family history of being overweight. So, weight is something that he has struggled with since his teens. Now, he doesn't eat unhealthy things; he just eats a lot of healthy things. And he's a stress eater. And, owning your own business is pretty stressful.

We've tried several different weight loss strategies with limited success. We tried Nutrisystem for men, which was effective, but the food tasted terrible and it got pretty expensive. You have to buy the meals, but then you have to buy a bunch of supplemental food to go with the meals. The commercials say the plan costs about $10 per meal, but it ends up costing more than that in the long run.

We tried the Zone, but the strict eating schedule and menus provided were difficult for Big Daddy to implement in his line of work (which is construction). He had no available means of refrigeration or re-heating of his meals and snacks.

We tried raw and whole foods, but that got really expensive and required a lot of prep work. We just didn't have the time for all that food preparation. And we certainly had better things to do with our income than hand it over to Whole Foods Supermarkets.

We try to avoid fad diets, which usually don't pan out over the long term. But we always have our eyes open for do-able lifestyle changes that support healthy weight.

So, Big Daddy and I were talking yesterday, and we thought it would be a good idea to chronicle his weight loss journey in the blogosphere. We thought it could provide encouragement and accountability, and provide him with a tangible timeline of his weight loss. At a safe weight loss schedule, we figure he should be where he wants to be in about a year.

Since Big Daddy needs to lose approximately 100 pounds, we began his weight loss journey with a trip to the doctor. Our doctor advised starting simple. He said that the basic problem with obesity was that there was more input than output. Plain and simple, Big Daddy has to eat less. All the time. He told Big Daddy to eat three small meals and two small snacks daily. He suggested using pre-packaged meals (Lean Cuisine, Kashi, etc.) to take the guesswork out of portion sizes. He didn't want us to concern ourselves at this point with things like avoiding certain carbohydrates or eating only organics or going to a nutritionist to get a list of recommended vitamins or anything. At this point, he just wants Big Daddy to eat less. Besides, Big Daddy has done enough research on his own to know what's good for him and what's not good for him.

The doctor's parting words: "You're going to be hungry all the time for a while. And, it's going to make you grumpy. Can you get the weight off? Absolutely. Will you get the weight off? I don't know. That's up to you."

And so, we have just completed our first week of this new, lighter-eating-smaller-portions lifestyle. The result?

Starting weight = 312 pounds

Ending weight this week = 305 pounds

Total weight loss = 7 pounds

Yay, Big Daddy!!!!

WHAT I FOUND ON MY CAMERA

2009-03-20T00:01:00.000-07:00

I was panning through some photos on my now defunct digital camera (we need Pioneer Woman to do lots more camera giveaways!) and came across this puzzling photo, sandwiched between photos of our wonderful cherubs:

Big Daddy has spent a lot of time customizing his workshop, and my only guess is that he was particularly proud of this little area and happened to have the camera handy for some reason....

As you can see, he's quite the handyman and I'm very proud of him! Still a little confused by the photo, though.

FASHIONISTA

2009-03-19T00:01:00.000-07:00

I think I have mentioned before that I'm not much of a girly-girl. My biggest pre-requisite for an outfit is that it doesn't make me itch. In fact, I was going out today with my mom, and she made me wear one of her jackets because she didn't like the hoodie I donned this morning (I believe "bag lady" was somewhere in her description of my very comfortable outfit). Dressing up is not high on my list of priorities.

Imagine my surprise at having such girly-girls for daughters. They love all things pink and floral and rainbowed. Bean is a little flexible in the clothing department (as you can see by the mismatched mittens) ...

... but Cakes is very opinionated about what she will and will not wear. Don't even try to put overalls on that kid!

About once a season, my dear friend over at In the Dailies sends my girls a box of clothes that her daughter has outgrown. Fortunately for me, her daughter is also a very girly-girl and my daughters are typically very pleased with the new selection of clothing. They ooh and aah over the box, declaring things "cute" and insisting on wearing as many new outfits as they can layer on.

There was one outfit in particular that I absolutely loved. I immediately tried to put it on Cakes, but she wanted no parts of it. I'm not sure what she found so distasteful about the outfit, but I finally convinced her to wear it by pairing it with shiny shoes.

I had to preserve this photo for posterity, because who knows if I'll ever be able to get her back into this very cute ensemble?

WORDLESS WEDNESDAY - ANXIOUSLY AWAITING SPRING

2009-03-18T08:43:00.001-07:00

For more Wordless Wednesday, check out 5 Minutes for Mom.

A RARE TREAT

2009-03-16T09:14:00.000-07:00

Honestly, I don't know how people like Muthering Heights do it. I don't know how they can watch two kids, be pregnant, cook, clean, and still find time to blog every day.

We finally got our taxes done (big sigh of relief there!), and life can continue on.

We had some excitement here in our little Southern town last week. We had an event that only happens about once every five years. We had snow. I'm not talking snow by a Southern definition (i.e. two flakes drifting by on the breeze); I'm talking actual accumulation that lasted more than three hours and even kept a Northeasterner like me off the roads for the morning.

Look how deep! If you can't see, that's at the 6 inch mark. It was enough to shut down schools until Wednesday (never mind that the snow was completely melted by Monday).

The girls were out in the snow instantly. Seeing as the most snow we usually get here is a dusting that lasts for about an hour, we don't own snow boots and snow pants and the like. So, we put sneakers and jeans on the cherubs, and then topped that off with Big Daddy's tube socks. Bean didn't mind, but it was a little hard for my fashion-conscious Cakes to deal with.

The first order of business was snow angels.

Then came snow tasting.

Finally, the requisite snowman was built on the front lawn (with a little help from Big Daddy).

Where was Mommy during the festivities? Inside. Taking pictures. Not being cold.

LIFE LESSONS - SUPPORT THE ELDERLY

2009-02-27T06:25:00.000-08:00

Back when I was still living up North, before I was married, my friend Vickie and I had a girls' night out. We went into the city to eat at a gourmet Mexican restaurant and then to see Les Miserables. We got all dressed up (which I never do), and took the train into the heart of the city. We were excited as we walked to the restaurant, anticipating the wonderful food. When we got to the restaurant, we entered the lobby and anxiously awaited going upstairs into the restaurant to eat.

As we stood at the bottom of the wide staircase talking, we suddenly heard a commotion. Things happened very quickly from there. We looked up to see about 10 or 15 people rushing down the stairs toward us. Our first reaction was to get out of the way to avoid being trampled. And that's what we did. We backed away and pressed up against the wall to escape the stampede. It was only after events unfolded that we realized what exactly had taken place.

As we were talking at the bottom of the stairs, a large party was at the top of the stairs getting ready to depart. In the front of the large party was a very elderly man. Somehow, this elderly man lost his balance and began a rapid and unsteady descent down the stairs. Every other member of the large party, along with several employees of the restaurant, saw him heading down the stairs to certain doom, and they all rushed after him in a vain attempt to grab him and keep him on his feet.

This elderly gentleman was headed straight for Vickie and me, who moved aside and let him land face flat on the floor. Not our proudest moment. But, to be fair, it all happened very quickly and our instinct was for self-preservation. The man appeared to be uninjured, which assuaged our guilt ... just a little bit.

SIX MONTHS YESTERDAY

2009-02-26T00:01:00.000-08:00

I just had my hair highlighted and styled, so I figured it was a good time to take another belly picture. I was exactly six months pregnant yesterday. I know the hair looks different, and that may skew the whole pregnant head phenomenon. What do you think? Head pregnant? Not?

My hair will not be looking this nice tomorrow. Or the day after that. Or the day after that. Or until my friend LeeAnn so graciously cuts and colors it again. I'm happy when I remember to brush it. Or wear deodorant for that matter. I forget basic things when I'm pregnant. "Did I bathe today?" "Did I feed the kids breakfast?"

IT'S 2:48 A.M....

2009-02-25T00:48:00.001-08:00

I woke up (after having fallen asleep on the bottom bunk with Bean earlier tonight) in a panic because I needed to pay my electric bill and had forgotten to do so earlier today. I got up and paid it. Now, here I sit, adrenaline rushing through my veins and nowhere to put that displaced energy.

So, here are some thoughts ...

You know how kids are go through those "testing" phases? Bean seems to have recently channeled the attitude of a 13-year-old. And Cakes has suddenly developed quite a penchant for saying, "No!" in complete defiance of every request and/or command given to her. She's been spending a lot of time in her room lately as a result. Fun stuff. But, I'm a pretty strict disciplinarian and will haul my pregnant body from anywhere in the house to stick a disobedient and/or sassy kid in time out or remove a beloved toy from her grasp until proper respect is being displayed (we don't do spanking - we're not against it, but we just choose to consistently implement other forms of discipline).

When we were in Barnes and Noble over the weekend, Cakes was throwing a tantrum because she did not want to obey me and put her coat on in preparation of leaving (it was in the 30's this particular day). The thing about public tantrums is that there is no set place for a time out; so, the dilemma that faces me is whether to remove a desired object from her or find a suitable place to take her until the tantrum subsides.

I always feel bad for moms who are out with their screaming kids. Well, I feel bad and I thank the good Lord that my kids are behaving at the moment.

But, I digress. So, there I was, six months pregnant with 4-year-old and a screaming 2 1/2-year-old, doing my best to maintain my composure and improvise with the discipline. I typically would have immediately whisked her outside or to the car but, like I said, the temperature was in the 30's and the issue in question was getting her coat on. After about five (seemingly endless) minutes of screaming and several failed attempts to stick her noodly, dead-fish arms into her coat sleeves, we finally bribed her into the coat and I sent her off with her father before I had a complete nervous breakdown.

Then it happened.

Some old man came up to me and started telling me that my child was completely out of control and that my husband and I were absolutely horrible parents for letting our child get away with screaming in public and defying us. Now, I know I'm not the first person to have a complete stranger witness five minutes of my life and then interfere as if they had been present since the moment of my conception, but it was the first time that it had happened to me. And, since I have quite the sarcastic streak (goes over really well here in the South, too, let me tell you), I always thought I would shoot out some snappy comeback if that ever happened. But, I just stood there speechless, mouth open, before finally just shaking my head and walking away.

Well, off to try to squeeze a few more hours of sleep out of this night...

CURIOUS GEORGE

2009-02-24T00:01:00.000-08:00

Once again, it was story time at our local Barnes and Noble. Once a month, they have a special "guest" (i.e. a B&N Staffer dressed as a cartoon character) at story time. At the end of the story, the kids get to meet the special guest and pose for a picture. This month, the guest was Curious George.

Look at the crowds that showed up to see Curious George!

Am I the only one who did not know that Curious George was this popular? It's like Hannah Montana for toddlers! It was a loud, overstimulating (word that became second nature when working with adults with traumatic brain injury), mad house! Kids were screaming, parents were shoving forward with cameras to get a shot of their tots with George. Crazy!

Bean and Cakes were very interested in meeting George. Bean stepped right up, hugged him, and proceeded to pose. Cakes talked a lot about hugging George until she got within three feet of him. Then, Big Daddy had to hold her while she fearfully averted her eyes.

After the photo was taken, Cakes summoned all the courage she had in her little, three-foot frame and waved good-bye to George. She then proceeded to gush about him for the next hour.

The city's opera company is performing next week. I doubt they'll get the crowds George did ...

POLITICS AS USUAL ...

2009-02-23T06:32:00.000-08:00

I must admit that I'm a bit of a political junkie. I have some serious opinions about all things political, and I like to keep myself very well-informed. I also like to keep it out of the blogosphere, because the purpose of this blog isn't to be political, it's to share with friends and family (and anyone else who happens to show an interest) about the daily goings on of my little family here in the South.

So, I have been noticeably absent from my blog for the past week or so, because I spent that time fully researching the stimulus package, breaking it down to inform people, and writing my state senators and local representatives.

I won't tell anyone what they should or should not support, but I do encourage everyone to stay informed, and to email and/or phone their local and state government officials as much as possible. I think it's our responsibility as citizens to stay informed and stay involved.

And there is my soapbox moment. Back to the usual tomorrow!

SAY CHEESE!

2009-02-09T00:01:00.000-08:00

My girls love getting their pictures taken. Whenever a camera appears, they start yelling "cheese," smiling like crazy, and doing all kinds of fancy poses.

On Saturday, we went to the local Barnes and Noble for story time. The girls were especially excited, because a member of our city's ballet troupe was there to read Cinderella and teach a few dance steps. After the story reading, the girls had a chance to pose with the real, live ballerina (thank goodness for camera phones!).

Afterwards, it was off to Macy's to check out the end of the season sales. The girls, energized with Chik-Fil-A and candy necklaces, raced around the department store, stopping only for a potty break and to pose with ....

Lingerie mannequins.

Thank goodness for camera phones!

'FRO ME TO YOU - CAPTAIN CAVEMOUTH

2009-02-05T06:45:00.000-08:00

Remember Captain Caveman? I loved that old cartoon! So did my husband. Who has a small mouth. Now, there's a lot of room in the inside of his mouth, but stuff has to fit past his small lips. Okay, maybe his mouth isn't that small. Okay, his mouth is pretty average sized.

I, on the other hand, have been blessed with a rather large mouth. I've heard comments about my "voluptuous lips," etc. But, basically, I'm one of those people that can fit my whole fist in my mouth. Big Daddy finds it hilarious. One of his nicknames for me when we were dating was "Captain Cavemouth." If I yawned, he would cower and yell, "Don't eat me!"

Lest you think Big Daddy didn't get any playful teasing, I often referred to him as Sideshow Bob.

That's pretty much how Big Daddy's hair looks when not in a pony tail (thanks to http://www.thesimpsons.com/ for the photo).

Here is a photo that, thankfully, has yet to make it into any family albums or slideshows about Africa. You can see the beginnings of Captain Cavemouth (and the fact that I spent a great deal of time in Africa topless ...).

For more embarrassing memories captured on film, check out We Are THAT Family.

TIME TO PANIC?

2009-02-03T00:01:00.000-08:00

Bean and I were discussing Peanut. Like I said, I like to keep Peanut in the forefront of the cherubs' minds so that they're as ready as they can be for her arrival this June.

On this occasion, Bean and I were discussing my blossoming belly, and Bean even got a chance to feel Peanut squirming around a little bit.

Me: That's Peanut in my belly; and, when she's all ready, God will bring her out of my belly and we will be able to hold her and feed her and change her diaper.

Bean: How did Peanut get in your belly?

Me: Well, Daddy put her there, and God will get her out when she's big enough.

Bean: But, how did Daddy put her in your belly?

Uh, oh .....

NEVER TO EARLY TO START ...

2009-02-02T00:01:00.000-08:00

I've been talking to the cherubs about Peanut a lot lately. I want to get them used to the idea of having a little sister. Most of the conversations involve how Bean and Cakes are going to help Mommy with Peanut, what Bean and Cakes are going to teach Peanut, etc.

Today, I was wiping some cupcake off of Bean's cheeks and noticed a little scratch.

Me: Bean, you've got a little scratch on your cheek.

Bean: How did it get there?

Me: That's what I was going to ask you?

Bean: Peanut did it.

Me: Peanut? She's still in Mommy's belly. She can't scratch your cheek.

Bean: She came out of Mommy's belly and scratched me and went back in your belly.

Start blaming the baby now ....

WHAT BIG DADDY BROUGHT HOME

2009-01-30T00:01:00.000-08:00

Big Daddy did a restaurant remodel recently. The owner loaded us up with some leftover Italian food and some decorations from his restaurant that he no longer wanted. Including this:

My children have dubbed him "Mr. Cooker." Bean hugs him regularly, proclaiming, "I love him!" Cakes likes to admire from a distance, but he makes her a little nervous.

Let me tell you, he just about gives me a coronary every time I walk into the kitchen. Look at him, crouching there in the corner with that huge moustache. My first thought is always, "Who is that hiding behind the table?"

Oh, the joys of being married to a contractor!

AND THE VERDICT IS ...

2009-01-29T15:36:00.001-08:00

Baby number three (officially named Peanut for purposes of this blog), is a girl!

WORDLESS WEDNESDAY - HALFWAY THERE (20 WEEKS TODAY)

2009-01-28T00:01:00.001-08:00

I know this is supposed to be "wordless," but I want everyone to take note of my head, which is not yet pregnant. I will continue to post belly shots, and I want to see (and hear objectively) if pregnant head develops ...

For more Wordless Wednesday, check out 5 Minutes for Mom.

THE SECURITY "BLANKET"

2009-01-27T00:01:00.000-08:00

Cakes has a security blanket. Sort of. You know how she didn't wean until she was two? Well, I guess weaning took away her article of security (namely, her food source), and she replaced it with ... well ...

... my cleavage (as you can see, sometimes Bean is prompted to join in the cleavage spelunking). You will often find Cakes up to her elbow in my bosom. She does it at home, she does it in public (prompting complete strangers to say things like, "Do you keep your wallet in there?"). I've asked her what she's looking for. Her answers range from a piece of candy to the baby in my belly to my parents' dogs.

Today, Cakes had a well-check visit with her pediatrician. Going to the doctor is a little nerve-wracking for anyone. So, I spent the entire visit hunching and contorting so that Cakes could maintain her hold on my cleavage during the entire visit.

Today during dinner, Cakes said, "Tum here, Mama. I want to put my hand in your cleabage." I'm hoping she will outgrow this. I keep having visions of my sixteen-year-old daughter sitting next to me with her hand down my shirt ...

RLS

2009-01-26T06:01:00.000-08:00

Each pregnancy, I get wonderful Restless Leg Syndrome. With each baby, I've spent my nights kicking and moving around in an attempt to stop the "tinglies" in my lower extremeties. The RLS never appears when I am without child. And the wonderful medicine that has been invented to counteract RLS is not to be taken when you're pregnant.

The tinglies began again a few weeks ago - that horrible, creepy-crawly, need-to-run-a-marathon-right-this-instant feeling. But, I have discovered the secret to putting an end to my RLS. I sleep on the floor. How did I discover this? Well ....

I tend to have low blood pressure. I mean low. My previous family doctor routinely asked me if I was comatose after taking my blood pressure. Last night, my father took my blood pressure because I was feeling a little shaky. My pressure was 96/53. So, as you can imagine, I'm pretty tired by the end of the day. I often end up falling asleep on the floor of the cherubs' bedroom while I'm trying to get them into bed. The down side is that my pregnant self spends the night on a floor. The up side is that I sleep very well.

CONFLICT RESOLUTION 101

2009-01-19T06:24:00.000-08:00

My brothers and I never fought physically. Yeah, there was a lot of screaming (on my part), and mental torture, but we never really came to blows.

As a parent, I work hard to keep my children in a violence-free atmostphere. It may seem a little strict, but I don't let them watch anything on TV other than Noggin, a handful of PBS shows, and talk shows like Rachael Ray. We don't even watch Spongebob or Fairly Oddparents or anything like that. I'm big on age-appropriateness when it comes to the media, books, etc., to which my cherubs are exposed.

Imagine my surprise, then, that I have managed to give birth to two beautiful princesses who will readily beat each other to a pulp at the slightest provocation! Where does that even come from?

So, I have spent almost every day since Cakes became mobile training Bean in non-violent conflict resolution with Cakes. It goes something like this:

Me: "What do we do when Sissy bothers us? Do we hit Sissy?"

Bean: "No."

Me: "Do we kick Sissy?"

Bean: "No."

Me: "Do we push Sissy down?"

Bean: "No."

Me: "What do we do when Sissy bothers us?"

Bean: "We tell Mom."

Me: "That's right. You tell Mommy. That way we can talk about things and work out a solution to the problem without hitting."

We've had the same interchange about five million times, and it is usually following a screaming stint in time out where Bean refuses to apologize to Cakes for pushing, hitting, kicking, etc.

A few days ago, I was in the grocery store with the girls. We were walking down the aisle. Suddenly, Cakes grabbed Bean, put her in a headlock, and began punching her in the face. Yes, my completely-sheltered-from-violence-in-the-media two-year-old put her four-year-old sister in some sort of half-Nelson or something and began pummeling her. And so began Conflict Resolution Training for Cakes. It goes something like this:

Me, with a very serious look on my face: "What do we do when Sissy bothers us?"

Cakes, with an equally serious look on her face: "Scream."

Me, trying hard not to laugh: "No, we tell Mommy. That way we can talk about things and work out a solution to the problem without hitting."

Cakes: "But I not going to listen to you."

And, there you have it. I think we have a ways to go.